my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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