Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize