I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Success! We fucked roommates!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
