Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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