I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
