Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
