the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
