she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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