OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize