Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
