Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  You weighed it?

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  (817): Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car? (1-817): You weighed it? http://tfl.nu/lai6
  Replies (37) Good night (22697) Bad night (1772)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

  (636): View more from Missouri

  never have sex?

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  (314): sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents (636): never have sex? http://tfl.nu/1ynn
  Replies (44) Good night (4095) Bad night (760)
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  (516): View more from New York

  They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

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  (516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs
  Replies (5) Good night (5454) Bad night (1071)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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  (313): My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission. http://tfl.nu/o1g8
  Replies (9) Good night (4070) Bad night (928)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.

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  (810): She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself. http://tfl.nu/zfk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1152) Bad night (2797)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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  (920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28
  Replies (10) Good night (3043) Bad night (779)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.

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  (313): It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike. http://tfl.nu/mqaw
  Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (1506)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.

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  (631): Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week. http://tfl.nu/z2q6
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (493)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.

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  (830): Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old. http://tfl.nu/rc4y
  Replies (0) Good night (694) Bad night (458)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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  (307): Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed http://tfl.nu/7csc
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (324)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.

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  (309): You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable. http://tfl.nu/j22p
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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  (432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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  (573): Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo" http://tfl.nu/w19f
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT

  (1-712): View more from Iowa

  PLEASE DON'T

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  (712): WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT (1-712): PLEASE DON'T http://tfl.nu/8jjz
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (342)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life

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  (978): So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life http://tfl.nu/9wbt
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (217)

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