There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.