You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
