I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN