Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
