Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Need sex. Gaining weight.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

Fav 19 1145 4374
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(913): View more from Kansas

you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(386): View more from Florida

Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.

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(727): View more from Florida

These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

Fav 24 3808 1755
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(631): View more from New York

Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.

Fav 1 492 152
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(330): View more from Ohio

I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages

Fav 0 19 53
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