Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success. http://tfl.nu/8y3e
  Replies (57) Good night (6319) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/ba5j
  Replies (8) Good night (832) Bad night (4452)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr
  Replies (56) Good night (6463) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me. http://tfl.nu/008l
  Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (4531)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news http://tfl.nu/t3j8
  Replies (46) Good night (621) Bad night (5949)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  couldn't find a condom?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  basically

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you (1-804): couldn't find a condom? (804): basically http://tfl.nu/rfmp
  Replies (16) Good night (5914) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar http://tfl.nu/aq1i
  Replies (11) Good night (4577) Bad night (1818)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw
  Replies (27) Good night (6049) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home http://tfl.nu/noo6
  Replies (12) Good night (3465) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/0la5
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it? http://tfl.nu/czl6
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here. http://tfl.nu/kjaj
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday! http://tfl.nu/ki05
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza..... http://tfl.nu/oi2c
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/vwm7
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (207)

Randomize