help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
