i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
