I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
