Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Houston, we have a squirter
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
