i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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