help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
