Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
