We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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