Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
