direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
