3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
