Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
