It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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