Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize