sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
