"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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