It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
