I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
