i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize