I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
