god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize