Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
