Moan for me like Helen Keller
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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