dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
