"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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