rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
