I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize