Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize