she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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