Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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