he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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