I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
