loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i believe in u and ur pee
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
