I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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