Soap is not a condiment
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
