But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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