a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
