Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
