it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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