my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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