Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
