Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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