Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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