I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you would pick up someone in the library
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
