if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize