dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
