come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
