I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
