so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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