that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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