My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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