when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
