i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
