she looked like the before picture.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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