My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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