He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
