we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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