mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
