if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
