The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
